”I feel stupid, because I was only good enough when I was useful”
Where it all started…
I used to have so many friends, but after I became a mum the list became shorter and got even shorter as time went by.
As you all know, becoming a mum means you can’t party or see people whenever you feel like it or whenever you get invited to a party.
And many people who I thought were my fiends stopped inviting me to their parties, because they knew I have a child so I may not be able to make it that night or won’t drink, which they think is boring. Why should someone who has a child hang out with childless people, I am useless to them and not their cup of tea anymore.
For few years after having my child I regularly visited people and made effort, but since living in my new place for over 2 years now only my sister came and still comes to visit me few times a week. And another good friend of mine comes all the way from London (1 Hour by train), even if she doesn’t have much money she still finds a way to come see me.
So one of these so called “friends” kept promising to come see me for over two months, but guess what, never found her way to see me. Why?– Because her boyfriend was at home and she didn’t want to leave the house so he is not left on his own.
Another friend would come see me for 15 minutes or even 10 sometimes after work, but she would never visit with her children because it was more convenient for her to have me around so she could carry on with her routine and everything else. And recently she stopped talking to me for no reason, maybe I was no good to her because I stopped visiting ( had physical problems).
There were some bad times in my life, still no one offered to help or visit apart from 2 friends.
So whats next?
This is when I realized something had to change. I can no longer see them just because I have a car, why should I go see them when it’s convenient for them. When I get home I am the one having to deal with a grumpy little one. It would be much easier and stress free if they bothered to come visit me and have a glass of wine, I can’t have a glass of wine when I go to their house because I later have to drive home.
My birthday is coming up and I have a feeling these “friends” will not come once again, even tho I went to them on their day to cheer them up.
I decided this is it… There is no point wasting your time on people like that, they only need us when we are convenient. It just annoys me how those particular people don’t call until they are bored and need some gossip. And then they ask me- ” How come you didn’t call?”, “Why didn’t you come see me?”.
Well make some effort yourself and I will do so too!!! The good and quiet girl is not so quiet anymore. Why should I let people treat me this way. You are either my friend or you aren’t…
Karolina’s Blog 