I would like to dedicate this letter to him who never was the dad my son needed…

You told me you loved me, promised me forever… 

forever

I know, me telling you I was pregnant came as a shock and the first thing on your mind was abortion… I told you I will keep our baby, that was the end to me & you. I gave you the option to go and never come back, but you had to make the threats and then you lied to your family that I tricked you in to it… You knew that wasn’t true…

The day our son arrived in to this world, you wasn’t there, you chose your “Best of both worlds”, getting spoiled by your mum and dad who were separated. You enjoyed traveling with your dad and getting mothered at your mum’s.

Soon all your family and friends hated me and thought I was the evil, user Ex girlfriend which I never was… Many times I contacted you and told you I didn’t want you to want me, all I wanted was for you to know your child. The child who will ask about you one day, that day he will find out what a selfish human being your are. You did’t have to live with us, I just wanted you to care, to find a little piece of yourself to show a little more emotion…

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But…

Doesn’t it hurt when you don’t know how your son looks like? All you know is his name. That you don’t know him as a person, a sweet and loving boy… He is not me, he is his own person, an individual who will want many questions answered in the future. You will not be the one picking up the pieces of his heart…I will be.

How heartless do you have to be to not want to know your own flesh and blood. A little mini you and me. And the saddest thing is, exploring your sexuality is more important to you than your own son…

I know people don’t say it, but some think it- that it was my choice to bring this child in to this world. “It takes two to tango”

I forgive you, but I can’t promise my son will.

foreverdv