Although we all have our own opinion about suicides and we are afraid to speak about it. For some, suicide – is a sin, for others – a mental illness. There are many false imaginations about suicide, but what is it really?
When we hear the word “suicide”, we become confused and avoid talking about it. Many people are afraid to say this word out loud, because we assume we will encourage the other person to want to disappear of this earth. And vice versa- if the person constantly threatens to commit suicide we assume they will not go ahead with it. Those are false assumptions used by many.
1st Myth- I can’t help the person wanting to commit suicide.
Many believe that only psychologists can help in these situations. But that’s definitely not true. Initially, they don’t need specialist help. First the person needs someone to listen to them. All they need is a simple conversation. Of course, there are times where their situation needs to be assessed further. But often at the right time and place, all they need is us to be there for them, give them a reason to live, make a connection and to feel wanted. That is the biggest help someone can give to the person in this situation.
2nd Myth- If we talk to this person about suicide, they will feel encouraged to do it.
Many people are afraid to talk to the person who has thoughts about suicide. Because of all this fear, they start avoiding them and their family. This happens, because usually people lack knowledge about these situations. They often don’t know what to say, do or how change their thoughts.
Many people often want to hear positive response after asking the person about suicide. And very often people are afraid to ask them straight, because they fear that this will encourage the person to actually do it, but that is the wrong way to think. We need to ask them straight and talk about it openly. (I wish someone asked me when I was at the end of it).
It’s not easy to talk about suicide, but we shouldn’t be afraid of this word. If you do talk to someone and they are struggling with life, ask them and reassure them. If you do ask them, if suicide came to their mind, they will not start thinking about it just because you asked. They will definitely tell you if they are upset and if they already had it on their mind. Some people will tell you that they are upset, but ending their life was never in their thoughts. And if they do say yes to suicide, they will feel relieved they can finally tell someone who is not afraid of this topic. Many people who thought about ending their life or did so, didn’t know who to turn to.
3rd Myth- The person talks about committing suicide, but others assume they won’t do it.
In many cases the individual will raise their hand against themselves, because they already said it out loud. Many then assume that this is all talk and sometimes even tells the person to get over themselves and enjoy life. It’s important to take any suicide talk seriously. It’s also important to try and have a conversation with them about how and what they are feeling, instead of trying to prove them that life is worth living. Because at that moment the person is not having the time of their lives and they can’t see the beauty in it. That’s why it’s important to let them talk about it and then try and offer to seek professional help if that is required. From my past experiences I can tell you- that those people are only in need of human contact.
4th Myth- If the person decided to commit suicide, nothing will stop them.
These people need contradictions. They usually have one side of them- which wants to live and another side- which doesn’t. These people can at the same time plan their suicide and get a new job or plan a trip.
5th Myth- Only people who suffer from mental illnesses commit suicide.
Depression can’t be equated with suicide. Just because someone suffers from depression, it doesn’t mean they will harm themselves. Suicide may be associated with mental health problems, but not necessarily the person who suffers from mental illness. After analyzing the letters of people who committed suicide, it showed that before ending their life they were very unhappy. If a person is suffering from mental illness, it is important to ensure that it is properly treated.
6th Myth- There is only one reason for suicide.
Usually after the suicide is committed, people start to look for reasons on why this happened and what led them to ending their life. People usually assume this happened for one reason- love, work, money problems and debts. But usually there are more reasons to their actions. If you do want to get answers, it’s best to talk to people who knew the deceased person, but only do so when they are ready to talk as they still have unanswered questions themselves.
7th Myth- If a person tried to commit suicide they will definitely do it again.
On the other hand, someone who tried to commit suicide are already included in the risky group of people. They do need that special attention. But that doesn’t mean they will try to harm themselves again, just because they already done it once. If they manage to receive the help they need, they may never go down that road again.
8th Myth- Our family members will never think of committing suicide.
This can happen in any family. Everyone are at risk of experiencing hurt, loss of all their money or someone they love.
9th Myth- People who try to end their life in public are only trying to attract attention.
Yes, they are trying to get attention, but that is their way of being desperate for help. If a person threatens to commit suicide, they won’t stand and the edge of the bridge just because they want to get someone’s attention, they may do it if they don’t get help in time. Suicides don’t happen due to impulsive thinking, it happens because that person has had the last drop and it shows they had been thinking about ending their life for some time before it even happened.
10th Myth- People planning to commit suicide will not show any warning signs.
There are no unplanned suicides. Someone who is planning to do so will try and show it in one way of another. Like my friend who ended his life last year, few months before his suicide, he started to drink heavily, using drugs and he kept saying he can’t do this anymore. I have not witnessed it myself, but his partner did, who didn’t pay attention and never told anyone about this.
There are many signs to warn people of what is about to happen, we just need to learn to pay close attention to detail.
If you spot any changes in anyone you know, especially if they had something bad happen in their lives, don’t be afraid to ask them about their emotional state. They will appreciate your approach and this may- Save their LIFE.